For Carmelo Anthony, It’s Haute Time

Brian DiMenna

We take you away briefly from salivating over tonight’s Game 2 with Boston for a sort of weird update on Carmelo Anthony via the NY Daily News.  According to the report, Carmelo will serve as co-founder, editor and columnist for Haute Time magazine, a publication dedicated to luxury watches. carmelo-anthony

So this appears to be an entire magazine dedicated solely to expensive wrist watches.

That’s all.

It promises to be the premier wrist watch periodical, with Carmelo naturally contributing such rich editorial content as, “What to do when you accidentally wear your Thursday watch on Wednesday,” “Is it ever OK to wear the same watch for breakfast as dinner?” or “Diamonds are a watch’s best friend,” followed by a long-form retrospective, “Digital: The watch world’s greatest sin”

The first issue contains a lengthy feature on Tony Robbins, motivational speaker, entrepreneur and serious watch collector. Described as a “meditation on the meaning of time and success with Tony Robbins,” it becomes quite clear that the true meaning of success is measured by just how much money you have spent on the ability to accurately tell time.

I must admit, I’m not really a watch guy, but only in the sense that I’ve never actually owned one, otherwise I’m totally into it. It’s something that seems especially unnecessary now that we’re all essentially carrying time pieces at all times anyway, you know, phones. So the idea of sticking an additional time-measuring device on my wrist, then spending a bunch of money on it is sort of foreign to me. That being said, were I blessed with the type of coin that Carmelo is, I suppose I could see the allure of a handsome wrist watch to signal to just about everyone that I have the type of money that makes it appropriate to carry around a large, expensive and somewhat unnecessary clock as decoration for my arm.

Anyway, this just might be my favorite thing ever, and I’m not sure I could have been enjoying Carmelo’s 2012-13 season any more, but now the anticipation of Carmelo Anthony: Watch Columnist is really more than I can even handle.

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